Gwen's Sententia

Thursday, October 18, 2007

My son's socialization

My son is four years old and my daughter is six. I home school my daughter, but my son asked to go to preschool. So, I enrolled him in preschool. Quinn goes to school three days a week for two and a half hours a day.

After his first day of school, I asked him if he liked school. He said “No.” I immediately thought “tough, I paid for a month so you are going to have to go for a month.” I told him that he wouldn’t be able to tell if he liked preschool from just one day, and that he had to go at least five times before he would be able to decide if he liked school or not.

After the second day of school, I asked Quinn if he liked school. He said “No.” I then asked him if he wanted to go back to school, and he said “Yes.” The third and fourth days were a repeat of the second day. He didn’t like school, but he wanted to go back.

After Quinn’s fifth day of school he came out smiling and said “Mommy, I liked school today. No one hit me!”

“What?” I thought. I queried him more and found out that two boys had been hitting him. Well, I didn’t think much of that to tell you the truth. My kids are sensitive and “hit” could mean “touch” or “accidentally ran into.” But, I kept thinking about it.

After the next day of school, I stayed a little bit later until most of the kids had gone. There were still two boys in the classroom. I told the teacher about Quinn getting hit and asked her if it was possible he was hit or if he was just being sensitive. The teacher turned her head, stared at the two boys in the room for a noticeable few seconds, and said that there were a couple of kids she was working with about hitting.

Okay, so I deduced that my son had probably been hit a few times from the boys still in the classroom.

Now, here’s the odd thing. A few minutes later the teacher told me that the only thing she worries about with Quinn is that he doesn’t play very much with the other boys.

Hmm

Labels: education, educational, family, fun things to do with kids, home school, home schooling, homeschooling, parenting, social development, socialization

Monday, June 11, 2007

I don't want my kids socialized

I don’t want my kids socialized. For the most part, I think socialization is a bad thing.

Now, before you call social services, let’s talk semantics. There’s a big difference between socialization and social development.

Socialization is the process where people learn their place in society. For children, socialization means raising your hand to go to the bathroom, changing your mental frame of mind when a bell rings, and waiting in line.

Social development, on the other hand, is about creating and nurturing meaningful relationships with others and integrating into society in such a way to help yourself and society.

Some socialization is obviously necessary to survive in society. For instance, if a kid doesn’t know how to queue up, he’ll get tossed out of amusement parks and not get to ride roller coasters. If a kid doesn’t have the sense to respect other people’s property and lives, he’ll end up in jail.

Some aspects of socialization seem silly to me, though. Why, for instance, should a child spend a year in a classroom with 20 or more other kids of the same age? Where else in our lives does that happen besides school?

Instead of “socialization,” I am teaching my kids “good citizenship.” For social development, I am providing them with opportunities to make friends of their age, older, and younger; however, I’m also providing them opportunities to make friends with adults, seniors, and much younger children.

Labels: children, friends, parenting, social development, socialization

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Loads of fun for $7.60

When I was just a wee little lass, full of health and joy, I liked to pretend I was an adult, and copied my elders just about any way I could.

When I was a toddler, I talked on my bright colored toy phones. I typed on my dad’s whirring Selectric. I pretended to read books like my dad, and I sure hope I did not pretend to smoke like my mother. I have a vivid memory of “driving” a grocery cart to the store with my children (baby kittens) in the “car.”

When I was a tween, I had a bikini swimsuit. I occasionally wore the swimsuit top under my clothes pretending it was a bra. Imitation is a form of learning, and I liked to learn.

One thing all adults seemed to have that I didn’t have as a child was a wallet with a lot of cards and papers in it. I saved my allowance a few times and bought a wallet. I loved filling out the blank identification cards and fake credit cards in the new wallets. It was great.

Well, the years moved by quickly it seems, and I have my own little girl and boy. My children are just like I was and all children are. They like to pretend. They like to pretend to be animals. My daughter’s fond of making her baby brother play “doggie” and she plays “human” and they play fetch together.

Watching my kids pretend play, I never forgot how much I enjoyed the wallet toy. When my kids were really little, I gave them old wallets of mine. I laminated wallet size pictures of friends, family, pictures of food, and articles of clothing. I gave them those “cards” and the wallets, and they seemed to enjoy the wallet toy. And, I got to use my laminator to boot!

When my daughter turned 5, she started carrying her purse around everywhere. I decided to do what I could to get her real cards. What could it hurt?

At the age of 5, the Broomfield Library allows kids to have their own library cards. (I do have it set up in my computer so I can check to see when her books are due. She is only five.)

The next card she acquired was her “driver’s license.” I asked her to put on her prettiest clothes and she picked out a nice dress. I combed her hair and put two pigtails in and made sure her face was clean. I dug up her Social Security card and her birth certificate and we went to the driver’s license bureau. She felt like a big girl as she signed her name, had her index finger print taken, and her picture taken. They had to get a stool out for her to stand upon since the camera wouldn’t adjust that low. Her “license” came in the mail about ten days later and she loved it. She put it in her wallet. She’s had it for six months and she hasn’t lost it yet.

My 3-year-old son is getting bigger and he wanted a driver’s license. So, I found a non-stained shirt for him to wear. (That was a big challenge since he’s all boy and I’m not so good with laundry.) I actually styled his hair and put product in it and some blue spike gel, so he had blue spiky hair and looked really cute. My son was not as well behaved waiting for his turn at the driver’s license bureau as his sister, but we made it through. He also enjoyed signing his name, having his finger photographed, and having me hold him up high for his photograph. He had a big grin on his face.

State IDs in Colorado are currently running $7.60, and the moment he lays eyes on it, it’ll be his heart’s delight.

Labels: education, educational, fun things to do with kids, parenting, Tammy Vass

Relaxed Parenting

My kids are relatively self-entertaining. Some of the women in my MOMS Club® talk about how they have to sit down and play with their kids constantly, and their kids cannot seem to entertain themselves. My kids are not like this. These same mothers also have their kids in swim school, preschool, gymnastic school, and many other "schools." My kids are only in one structured class a week. The great difference in my laid back child raising philosophy and these other mothers' philosophies has occasionally caused me to think, "Am I a bad mother? Should I be teaching my kids how to read at the age of 3? Should I have them in more classes?" After a little worry, I'd stick with my original laid back attitude.

Einstein Never Used Flash Cards eradicated those small spells of guilt and worry. After reading this book I am confident in my mothering skills, and I actually think it is good for the kids that I don't entertain them. Now, don't get me wrong, I do play with my kids here and there; however, I don't play with them constantly. I think it's good that I don't have every hour of the day mapped out for my kids. The book reconfirmed this idea for me and backed it with research.

One section of the book brought an image into my head of my great grandmother, who lived on a farm, working in the kitchen while my grandpa sat on the floor. Great grandma Goldie didn't have a washing machine, so she had to put forth effort and sweat on a washboard. My mental image didn't have Goldie teaching baby Rex his ABCs whilst she worked. I doubt Goldie had the time to do that with my grandfather or his three brothers on the farm. And you know what? My grandfather is one sharp dude.

The best thing about this book is that it reaffirmed my parenting style and helped me feel confident with it. Also, when a "hyper-parent" gives me a dirty look, I can just tell them about Einstein Never Used Flash Cards.

Labels: parenting, philosophy

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