I don't want my kids socialized
Now, before you call social services, let’s talk semantics. There’s a big difference between socialization and social development.
Socialization is the process where people learn their place in society. For children, socialization means raising your hand to go to the bathroom, changing your mental frame of mind when a bell rings, and waiting in line.
Social development, on the other hand, is about creating and nurturing meaningful relationships with others and integrating into society in such a way to help yourself and society.
Some socialization is obviously necessary to survive in society. For instance, if a kid doesn’t know how to queue up, he’ll get tossed out of amusement parks and not get to ride roller coasters. If a kid doesn’t have the sense to respect other people’s property and lives, he’ll end up in jail.
Some aspects of socialization seem silly to me, though. Why, for instance, should a child spend a year in a classroom with 20 or more other kids of the same age? Where else in our lives does that happen besides school?
Instead of “socialization,” I am teaching my kids “good citizenship.” For social development, I am providing them with opportunities to make friends of their age, older, and younger; however, I’m also providing them opportunities to make friends with adults, seniors, and much younger children.
Labels: children, friends, parenting, social development, socialization