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Gwen's Sententia

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Name: Gwen (Vass) Nicodemus
Location: Broomfield, Colorado, United States

I'm an abecedarian who happily lives with my husband, son, daughter, dog, cat, and two ferrets.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Karate Quinn

The kids asked for a family show tonight. What does that mean? They wanted to be in the same room with us and cuddle under blankets.

The kids understand that we won't cuddle under blankets with them to watch Scooby Doo. We'll cope with Scooby in the background, but we won't actually watch it. They've figured out that we'll actually watch Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Harry Potter, and various flicks like The Last Mimzy, ET, or the Bridge to Terabithia.

Leon had been waiting for the next "we want a family show" request, however. He bought The Karate Kid. We thought that the progeny should be old enough to understand it. Four-year-old Quinn liked the first half, and then he got bored. Seven-year-old Anna seemed to like the whole movie. We're not sure if she liked Leon and I commenting through it, though.

Anna: Isn't that cool? He got a car.
Leon: It's more cool how he did all that work.
Gwen: Yeah, he wanted to learn something and he practiced
and practiced and worked really hard.
Leon: Yeah, that's cool how he worked really hard to learn karate.

Overall, I think the kids' favorite part was the handkerchief that came with the DVD. Quinn called it a magic head bandanna and managed to go to other parts of the house, alone, at night.

Both kids got something from the movie. I'm not sure it's exactly what we intended, but I'll take it.

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Thoughtful Gifts, 2

My husband does an excellent job of picking out presents. I finally picked one just as well as he did.

We recently celebrated my daughter's 7th birthday. Anna wanted a ferret themed party, and she was pretty strong in her weasel-themed decision. She told me she wanted me to make her a ferret coloring book, so I did. I printed the coloring book out and inserted one copy in each of the loot bags. She wanted a ferret stuffed toy. I found some relatively cheap plush ferrets and stuck one of those in each of the loot bags. In the weeks before the party, Anna expressed great interest in those stuffed ferrets and she kept telling me how she "needed" her stuffed ferret and how she was going to play with it.

Well, the day of the birthday came and this included the great present opening. I spent $7 on Anna's birthday present, a stuffed ferret. The birthday ferret was of a bit better quality than the loot bag ferrets. She smiled and giggled and showed the ferret each of the other presents she opened.


Whew!

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Monday, January 28, 2008

SSSSssss

mojave desertI’ve always had a snake phobia. I grew up in the desert (the Mojave Desert in California) and I had to watch out for snakes when I’d walk my dogs. I’d read articles on the Mojave greens (rattlesnakes common in the area) and how deadly they were, and that perpetuated my fear. It didn’t help that whenever I encountered a snake as a kid, the snake and I were both surprised. They’re long. They’re reptiles. They don’t have legs. That’s just…just wrong.

For quite a while, my phobia got worse. I once went to a Halloween party and saw a guy with a little bitty snake on his arm. It was part of his costume, but I ran from the party the instant I saw the snake. I was totally irrational about it. I mean, the guy wasn’t a kid. He wasn’t going to stick a snake in my face when he knew I was afraid of it. Phobia.

ValorSnakes seem to show up in the strangest places. About ten years ago, I lived in a basement apartment for six months whilst my house was being built. Walking down the steps, I saw a snake. I did what any normal snake-phobe would do and screamed. My Labrador puppy didn't scream. He decided to introduce himself to the snake, and that introduction cost $75.00. Apparently the snake wasn't ecstatic to meet the exuberant puppy and bit him. Valor was allergic to whatever snake it was, and his cheeks quadrupled. After sufficient screaming a neighbor came over with a shovel and carefully removed the reptile to a non-trail area. I was freaked and I failed to protect my buddy.

NadineI did manage to protect my buddies on our next snake encounter. I went hiking with my dogs, a Great Dane and a Labrador. My buds were off leash. They pretty much stayed in sight and more or less came when called, so I didn’t worry too much about them not being right at my side. That is, I didn’t worry until I heard the Great Dane barking. She found a rattler. She “cornered” it and wouldn't stop barking. The rattler kept rattling. I called the dogs to me, and my Labrador came. The Great Dane wasn’t about to come because she was busy barking. I leashed the Labrador and asked another hiker to hold him and skirted around behind the Great Dane. I managed to grab her, leash her, and move her away without the snake striking. (It's too bad our skunk encounter wasn't successfully avoided.)

For the most part my snake phobia isn’t a big deal. I’m a city girl, after all. However, if I wanted to hike or attend parties, I needed to get a slightly better grip on myself.

A few Discovery channel snake shows helped. A few trips to the zoo helped me a bit. Knowledge is power. Knowledge helps put phobias in perspective, right? Besides, the zoo has glass cages. I could be in a room with snakes in glass cages without running away immediately, and that was progress.

5536_coiled_rattlesnake_getting_ready_to_strike_an_animal.jpgMy next encounter was, fortunately for me, with a dead snake. My husband and I were traveling from my grandparents house to ours. I was seven months pregnant, and well, let’s just say I made my husband find a side road and pull over. I opened the door. I’m glad I looked down because there was a coiled rattler right now. I freaked a bit, but realized that the coiled snake was actually dead. I don’t know how that happened, but I’m glad I didn’t step on it anyway.

Whilst still pregnant, I took my little daughter on a mini hike around a lake. Toward the end of the trail, two-year-old Anna pointed and said “Snake, mommy!” Yes, sure enough, there was a snake. I couldn’t tell if it was a bull, gopher, garter, or rattlesnake. (Actually, I thought bull, gopher, and garter were different names for the same kind of snake.) The snake wanted to cross the trail. Despite the big rat-sized lump in the snake, I picked up the toddler and waddled my seven-month-pregnant body in reverse.

I had more snake encounters today. Fortunately, these snakes were in glass cages. Also fortunate for me, the volunteer at the Morrison Natural History Museum was not afraid of snakes, was sympathetic toward me, and spent a ridiculous amount of time answering my inane questions.

The first thing I learned is that the gopher snake, garter snake, and bull snake are three different types of snakes. They do have some things in common, though. They all survived the ice age (and were thus housed in the “survived the ice age section of the museum”) and they are all non-poisonous. A milk snake was also in the ice age section.

red_milk_snake.jpgI think I can now remember “If red’s next to black, you’re okay Jack. If red’s next to white or yellow, yer a dead fellow.” I might even remember it if I actually encountered a milk or coral snake. That was the first time the rhyme stuck in my head, even though I had heard it before.

The volunteer spent a lot of time telling me about the bull snake and the rattle snake. There were two bull snakes in the museum. She said the bull snakes have round pupils. Sure enough, I saw round eyes. She said the rattlers have vertical slits, but if you can see vertical slits you’re way too close. She said the rattlers have white on the outside of their brown spots and the bull snakes don’t. The rattlers have the “pits” on their heads and have boxier heads. I’m thinking that if I can tell the snake has pits or has boxy head that I’m too close. The white rings or not might be a method for me to distinguish bulls and rattlers at a distance. But, who am I kidding? I don’t want to differentiate the critters if I can avoid it.

The museum had two gopher snakes too. They have skinnier heads than the bull snakes. The male snake was dull and had glazed over eyes. The volunteer said he was shedding and couldn’t see until finished. She said that the male gopher snake had been in captivity for 40 years. They don’t know how old the gopher snake was when it was captured, but wow, I didn’t think snakes could live that long. Apparently, they aren’t hurt from not having their winter hibernation (due to the artificial lighting, warmth, and winter feedings provided by the museum) because they are still living lengthy lives.

Well, I feel more educated regarding snakes. I think I can keep myself from screaming, and protect my buddies and progeny next time I encounter a non-caged slither-er. This is good.

After we got home, Anna asked Leon why milk snakes were called milk snakes. “I don’t know,” said Leon. “Will you google it, Daddy?” As it turns out, there are legends of milk snakes milking cows. Now, that’s a disturbing image and I’m really glad my kids eat solid food.

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Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Busy kids

Quinn Enjoys SwimmingAnna loves her yoga class and her pottery class. Quinn argues about going to preschool sometimes, but he usually smiles when he walks out of the classroom. Both kids love their computer class and their robot class. They ask for more swimming classes, and Anna looks forward to her singing/piano lessons.

I like that the kids can take these enrichment classes. There sure wouldn’t be time for those classes, however, if they were in a brick-and-mortar school.

I like homeschooling.

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Monday, June 11, 2007

I don't want my kids socialized

I don’t want my kids socialized. For the most part, I think socialization is a bad thing.

Now, before you call social services, let’s talk semantics. There’s a big difference between socialization and social development.

Socialization is the process where people learn their place in society. For children, socialization means raising your hand to go to the bathroom, changing your mental frame of mind when a bell rings, and waiting in line.

Social development, on the other hand, is about creating and nurturing meaningful relationships with others and integrating into society in such a way to help yourself and society.

Some socialization is obviously necessary to survive in society. For instance, if a kid doesn’t know how to queue up, he’ll get tossed out of amusement parks and not get to ride roller coasters. If a kid doesn’t have the sense to respect other people’s property and lives, he’ll end up in jail.

Some aspects of socialization seem silly to me, though. Why, for instance, should a child spend a year in a classroom with 20 or more other kids of the same age? Where else in our lives does that happen besides school?

Instead of “socialization,” I am teaching my kids “good citizenship.” For social development, I am providing them with opportunities to make friends of their age, older, and younger; however, I’m also providing them opportunities to make friends with adults, seniors, and much younger children.

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Thursday, January 4, 2007

Raising a guide dog puppy

Have you ever seen a puppy dressed in a green coat walking around with an obviously sighted person in a grocery store? Those pups are in training. After a few years of puppy hood, socialization, love, and training, these dogs just might be paired up with a partner and have grocery store privileges for a long time.

What’s involved in making a guide dog?

  • Breeding
  • Raising/Socialization/Basic Commands
  • Formal Training
  • Training with a Partner
  • Work
  • Retirement

There are several companies (non-profit of course) that make guide dogs. These companies have veterinarians on staff who analyze lineage, health, diseases, and temperament and decide which dogs breed with each other. Sometimes they trade or buy dogs from other companies. I don’t know a whole lot about this, but I do know that they are responsible breeders.

When a litter is born, the person who raised the mother, gets to name the pups. That person is given a letter, like “V.” That person then submits a list of a bunch of names that start with the letter V, in order of preference. If the name has been used previously by any dog that was a breeder, it cannot be used. If the name is the name of an active guide dog, it cannot be used. Otherwise, as long as the name is not offensive or embarrassing, it’s fair game.

The people who are going to raise the puppy are told their puppy’s letter and the number of letters in the name after the puppy is born. Then they get to guess for a couple of months as to what “their” pup’s name is.The pups are the legal property of the company, even though they tend to feel like the raiser’s baby.

Have you ever wondered what it was like to raise a Guide Dog puppy? I’ve done it a few times..

My second pup was born February 2, 1997 in San Rafael, California to proud mother Hazy and proud father Signal. I was told “V” and “5 letters.” The first thing that came to my mind was “Valor,” but I thought surely that name had already been taken. However, when my pup came, his name was Valor. He was a black Labrador with a short tail and curly hair, and he was just about the cutest little fellow I had ever seen.

Valor was eight weeks old when he came to live with me in Colorado. Pups come to live with their raisers between eight and twelve weeks old. The companies experiment with what’s the best age to leave their litter mates and go to the raisers. It’s been ten years since I’ve raised a guide dog, but I think they lean toward the older ages now.

I fell in love with Valor immediately, which was different for me. It normally takes me a long while to cotton to a particular dog. In fact, it took me three months to learn to love my first guide dog pup. He was a fellow named Martin who was a little temperamental. Valor, however, was cute, playful, licky, and wanted to please.

Since my job was to socialize him, so Valor went with me everywhere.

Valor went to work with me. He sat under my desk while I worked. I attached his lead to my cube wall when he was a young pup. Guide Dog puppies aren’t supposed to play fetch, but I think there is something ingrained in a Labrador about fetching. There was quite a bit of laughter the day some guys played fetch around me and my cube wall came down.

What happens when you’re in a store and you have to use the facilities? If you’re lucky, you have a friend with you and you hand her/him the leash. If you’re not so fortunate, well, the pup comes with you. It’s pretty similar to having a 9-month-old kid. Would you leave the child outside the facilities to wait for you? What if there are strangers in the vicinity?

Raisers quickly learn to have the pup use the facilities before entering a store. It’s unpleasant, to say the least, to have your pupster urinate or defecate in a store. Fortunately, raisers tend to be so “in tune” with their pups, that they can sense when this is about to happen, pick the pup up, go outside, take off the pup’s coat, and issue the command, “Do your business.” If, however, the raiser is not perfect, like me, there are occasional accidents. The green puppy coats actually have a spot in them to put plastic bags and paper towels. Someone was thinking.

Besides going to work with me and to stores, my pups travelled with me.

Valor was afraid of San Francisco’s pigeons as a young pup, but as an older pup, he decided they might be good for chasing. Well, Valor was actually fond of pigeon scat as a young pup, and I had quite a project of keeping his head and tongue off the ground in San Francisco.

Valor seemed to think Kansas was okay, but not as cool as the other places. There’s hardly any pigeons at all in Kansas, though he really liked my Grandpa. I suspect Grandpa might have slipped him some cheese or meat when I wasn’t looking. Guide dog pups aren’t supposed to take food from other people. You wouldn’t want a sight challenged person walking with their dog and tripping because their dog decided to stop for a bite of hamburger.

Valor panted a lot in Utah, but had fun playing with his “cousin” Sydney.

Valor went shopping with me. I learned to give shopping trips about twice as much time as I needed before. People kept stopping and trying to pet him. He needed to work in the store. Sometimes I think half the job of socializing a pup is socializing strangers. If a sight challenged person is shopping in a store, do you really think they want to stop and talk to everyone else just because they have a fine looking pooch with them?

Other than the meat aisles, Valor was an angel in the grocery stores. He was pretty sniffy in the meat aisles though.

Valor got socialized everywhere, not just in public. He went for walks with me and took me hiking. We came home from a walk one day and Valor saw a snake on the stairs to the house. I’m reasonably terrified of non-caged, legless reptiles; however, Valor charged, giving my arm a good yank in the process, and went to inspect the snake. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the snake bit him. Later in the evening Valor’s jaw seemed to triple in size, I panicked, and off to the vet we went. In as nice a way as possible, the doctor explained to me that if the snake had been poisonous, my pooch would be dead. He said Valor probably had an allergic reaction. I remember thinking, “It costs $75.00 to kiss a snake,” as I left the vet’s office.

We had a good time during Valor’s puppy-hood, but all good things come to an end, and Valor had to go back to San Rafael. It was very hard to send Valor off to college, but I thought he would make a fine Guide Dog for someone.

Did I want Valor to pass? If he passed, then all that work was worth it, and someone would have a canine partner for a good many years. Valor would be working, and since he was motivated by pleasing others, he’d be happy. If he didn’t pass, he could come home to me and I’d have my baby back. Well, let’s say I was ambivalent, but I did want him to pass.

Fortunately, the decision on whether or not the dog will be a guide is not the decision of puppy raisers. I don’t think many would go on to college if that was the case. The decision lies with the company, and with the dogs themselves. My first pup was booted from the program, or “career changed” because he growled at the vet when his temperature was taken. When they asked me if I wanted Martin back, I asked them if they could find a good home for him. “Yes,” they said. They do after all have a waiting list of people wanting to adopt career change dogs. Why? A guide dog is not allowed to growl when someone takes his temperature; a pet can do that and it is acceptable. A guide dog can not bark excessively, but excessive for a guide dog is pretty normal for a pet.

My third guide dog, Dilbert, failed school too. He didn’t fail for growling. He failed because he simply did not want to be a guide dog.

I read reports of how Valor was doing in college. He did “satisfactory” for the first seven weeks or so, and then I got a call from Guide Dogs. Valor was diagnosed with a problem in his right, front elbow. It could have been genetic, or it could have been trauma. The Guide Dog vet’s did a surgery on his elbow and he was pulled from the program. Did I want to adopt him? This required no thought on my part since I was in love with Valor from the moment I saw him. Valor was put on the next Guide Dog truck to Colorado.

I picked Valor up at the designated meeting spot. He remembered me, and that felt good. How I forgot about his short tail in a mere eight weeks is beyond me, but it didn’t matter. Valor was back.

The rules went out the window. If I offered him a cheeseburger, he was free to eat it. Until I got married, he slept at the foot of my bed instead of on the floor beside it.

Valor is almost ten years old now. Val’s getting lumpy now. He can’t have cheeseburgers anymore and is on a strict diet of some dog food, carrots, and green beans. Well, I occasionally give him an apple or pear. Next to my husband, I think he’s my best friend. I say Valor’s perfect. My daughter tells me “Valor’s perfect to you, mom, but to me, he’s just a good dog.” What does she know? She’s only 5.

Will I raise another guide dog some day? You bet. As soon as my youngest is old enough to have a “presence” with the pup and actually help, maybe when he’s 6 or 7 or 8, we’ll raise another pup.

Only, the next pup will be raised by the whole family.

Do you want to raise a pup? Think about it long and hard first, but it’s definitely worth it.

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Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Child safety and the Internet

Twenty years ago I was 16 and starting college. One of the first things I did at college was to find the Internet, and it was great.

Chat rooms were newsgroups and to Instant Message someone you had to know a modicum of Unix.

My favorite newsgroup was sci.chem. The group was populated with Chemistry professors, Chemistry students, and industry professionals across world. Conversations ranged from hard core Chemistry to philosophical questions such as “If a chemical is synthesized but is indistinguishable from the natural version, does it matter? Should it be labeled differently in products?”

I developed mini-friendships with people I never met, never saw, and never talked to. I played online games with people I didn’t know; I only knew their alter egos and avatars. One of my favorite characters to play was Gabrielle, a Rodent Of Unusual Size who lived in a Fire Swamp (think Princess Bride).

I knew people who met over the Internet, got married. Some had kids; some divorced.

Was it dangerous? I mean, if I could profess to be a large rat were the people claiming to be teenage girls or college boys really 50-year-old men? Not really. Back then it wasn’t all that dangerous because to have Internet access you pretty much had to be a student, professor, government employee, work for a computer company, or live in a different country. I double majored in Computer Science just to keep my Internet access. It was a big deal.

But, it’s all changed. Now anyone and their dog Spot can have Internet access. My dog has a web page. I had my 3-year-old’s website up before I left the hospital. My dad uses the Internet regularly and sends his columns into the local paper without leaving home. My mom learned how to play Internet poker. My 70-year-old mother-in-law is an expert at printing out pictures of grandbabies and sending email to her sisters. Anyone can use the Internet now. It’s not just for nerds anymore. Most of you reading this probably don’t even know what Unix is.

Since the Internet has reached the general population, it is filled with the general population.

So, should you ban the ‘net in your house? I don’t think so. I still love the ‘net. I love it that when I’m talking with my husband or sister and one of us has an odd question like “What was Ronald Reagan’s first movie?” or “Who were the first 20 presidents of this country?” or “Do polar bears have carnassial teeth?” that I can walk over to my computer, type in a few words, and there’s the answer. It’s a lot easier than searching out encyclopedias or walking to the library. Oh, and one of the best things about the ‘net comes in handy when reading my father’s letters. My father is an erudite man with a large vocabulary who has caused me to repeatedly use Webster’s Online.

Should children be kept out of chat rooms and have their email screened? Well, I imagine that depends on the kid. If my biological children keep developing as they are, I don’t think my husband or I will monitor them too closely. They’ll know early on that if they can pretend to be a large rat that there’s no reason to believe that other person isn’t also pretending. We had a teenage foreign exchange student for a while, and I didn’t feel a need to monitor her ‘net usage. She was a smart cookie and she understood what was going on.

I also had a teenage foster child in my home. She was so desperate for companionship, love, and attention that I did not trust her on the Internet.

So, how did I try to protect the teenager who couldn’t protect herself?

  • All of the family’s computers are in the living room. This is the room we spend the most time in. She could not be on the computer without us being able to glance over at her screen.
  • I tried a net nanny program for a while. I didn’t even install it on all our computers. I hated it. It blocked too many sites that I found useful to me. Net nanny programs work well for some people, so they’re an option.
  • I noticed the teenager saved all her information in cookies and the like. What did that mean to me? I could log into any of her accounts and read her email and change settings. I distinctly remember putting any email for “hotornot.com” on a blacklist so she would never get it.
  • The teenager set up a myspace account, so I did also. I forced myself to play around on that site for a while to learn what it was about. This caused me to regularly check what she had on her site.
  • I had to learn some infernal acronyms. Fortunately for me, most of the ones from 20 years ago are still valid. However, there are a lot more of them now too.

Learn, learn, learn. I had to keep one step ahead of a kid determined to get herself hurt.

Here’s some websites to visit to help you learn, learn, learn.

  • http://www.NetLingo.com - This website defines a bunch of acronyms.
  • http://www.FamilyWatchdog.us and http://www.NationalAlertRegistry.com has lists of registered sex offenders. Which ones are living near you?
  • http://www.GetNetWise.org - Learn about various aspects of theInternet, including child protection
  • http://WiredSafety.org - This is a volunteer run charity that helps protect children from the Internet
  • http://www.MySpace.com - Does your child have a website or blog? It might be here.
  • http://www.google.com - Type in your kid’s name and search. If that doesn’t reveal anything, type in the names of your kid’s friends, one by one. You can also add city or state to the search if your child has a common name.
  • http://www.google.com/Top/Computers/Internet/Child_Safety/ - This is a list of child safety Internet sites.

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