Progression of chemicals
Hygiene was pretty easy as a small child. I’d take a bath, wash off the soap and shampoo, dry off, and put on my jammies. Chemicals=2. (Technically, water’s a chemical too, so the count should be 3, but I don’t want to count water.) After a few years of torture having my hair combed, my mother added the second chemical to the mix: hair detangler. She’d spray some hair detangler on my head and I’d cry less as she combed my hair. Chemicals=3.
Two chemicals isn’t that bad, but it wasn’t to last. I developed eczema and dry skin, so good lotion after a bath was a necessity. My hands were especially bad. If I didn’t apply lotion to my hands several times a day, they’d crack and bleed. Chemicals=4.
Adolescence added a few more chemicals to the mix. I started to use antiperspirant. Chemicals=5. I mentioned adolescence. Like most teenagers, I had my fair share of acne and isopropanyl jumped on the list. Chemicals=6. I also figured out about hair conditioner. Chemicals=7. However, my hair was thicker at that point and the conditioner helped, so I didn’t need the hair detangler anymore. Chemicals=7.
My sisters informed me that I had to use a special face lotion when I was in my twenties. Chemicals=8. I didn’t understand that, but my sisters are the experts on that type of thing. Well, needing face lotion coincided with not needing the acne stuff anymore. Chemicals=7.
After my sisters were confident that they had trained me to use face lotion, they decided to break me into the next step, special face soap. Chemicals=8. Why in the world isn’t body soap good enough for your face? I don’t know, but my sisters convinced me. Chemicals=8.
I stayed at a solid nine chemicals for a few years, until my two sisters and I got together and my sisters decided that we’d all go for facials. I decided that I need under eye gel, eye lotion, face serum, and eye serum. Chemicals=12. Now, in defense of this craziness which I started to get “into,” the serum feels really good on my skin and makes it so I need hardly any face lotion. Oh, I guess I can’t forget the Chapstick. Chemicals=13.
And what about those very rare occasions when I wear make-up? Well, I add face spackle, base, eye liner, mascara, and sometimes eye shadow. Chemicals=18.
So, 18 different things to “get ready.”
Maybe it’s time for another shower to clean off the 18 chemicals.
Labels: chemicals, insanity, money, toiletries
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