Gwen's Sententia: December 2006

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Thoughtful gifts

I’m not sure if my husband is a natural or if he is just lucky, but over the years he has consistently given me amazing gifts. Not once have I returned a gift from him.

I’m a practical person and I like practical things. If he got me a diamond necklace, I’d probably look at him like he was crazy or insane. I’d then sell it on e-bay and buy something I could use. Not surprisingly then, Leon has never bought me jewelry. Well, there’s the wedding ring exception.

Gift Example No. 1

I was into vegetables and stir fries when we were first dating. I also use cast iron pans almost exclusively. He noticed those things and for our first Valentine’s Day he gave me a cast iron wok. I love that wok.

Some people think that practical gifts are the sign of a relationship’s downfall, but I have to disagree. Leon and I have been married for six years now and we seem to be doing well together. Plus, I love the wok and we still use it. I’m glad Leon didn’t listen to that relationship advice.

Gift Example No. 2

I like Asimov. If you don’t know who Asimov is, well, he’s one of my heroes. Besides writing some fine science fiction, he also wrote something in every major Dewey decimal system category. He was a smart feller. I also like Chemistry. One day, briefly in passing, I told Leon that I wished I had a copy of Asimov on Chemistry. The book is out of print and has been for a while. For a birthday about 18 months later, Leon gave me a copy of Asimov on Chemistry. I just about jumped out of my skin.

Gift Example No. 3

We have a projector system in our house. One evening, while watching Star Wars, I said to Leon “Can I have that?” I was referring to Ewen McGregor. For my next birthday he gave me an autographed picture of Ewen McGregor. I laughed, and I love telling that story.

Gift Example No. 4

Leon out did himself this year. We have been watching a TV show called Good Eats. It’s a food network show, but the host, Alton Brown, likes to talk about the chemistry, physics, and biology of cooking. Leon emailed me the link to MIT’s course on Kitchen Chemistry and gave me a copy of the prime text book for the class, On Food and Cooking-The Science and Lore of the Kitchen, for Christmas. I’m excited about reading this.

What do all his gifts have in common?

All of the gifts were under $40.00. Expensive is not necessarily good.
The gifts took into account a long-term interest of mine.
The gifts also took into account a brand-new interest.
The gifts demonstrated that the giver knew the receiver.
My husband, the giver, never gave me any hints about the presents until I opened them.

Gift Example No. 5

I’m leaning towards Leon’s gift giving being a natural trait. There were eight humans at my house on Christmas morning. Clearly, the best gift was given by Leon’s mother to my daughter. When she opened it she couldn’t talk for about a minute. Then she said “Oh, oo, Oh, I think I just about jumped out of my skin.” Grandma gave Anna a pretty figuring of some dolphins on a wave. Does the statue meet the criteria? Yes. It was definitely under $40. Anna’s been into dolphins for several years and she doesn’t have any statues of dolphins yet. Grandma clearly knows that Anna likes dolphins, and Anna had no clue what the present was until she opened it up.

Maybe this is natural to my husband, but I believe most of us can do better with our gift giving.

Gift Giving Strategies

Know the person you are giving to. If you don’t know the person, how can you learn about them? If the receiver is a secret sister or secret Santa, who are his/her friends? Talk to them and get ideas. Talk to the person’s family. Don’t ask “What does she want?” Instead, ask about what the person likes, what his/her dreams are, how does (s)he spend his/her time, and other questions you would ask someone if you were just starting to date them. Ask about the past. Ask about the present.
Put a price limit on your gifts. Thoughtful gifts do not need to be expensive. I’ve received some most excellent secret sister gifts that didn’t cost more than $20.00. Also, some of the best gifts are homemade.
Shhh
After you give the gift, don’t ask the receiver if (s)he liked it. Ask his/her friends, or observe the person and see if (s)he uses it. Do some reconnaissance. Was the gift a winner? If so, great. If not, try to figure out what went wrong so that next time it works out better.

And, Good Luck.

Labels: birthday, christmas, gift giving strategies, gifts

Friday, December 22, 2006

Lessons on money and lifestyle from the kids

I wasn’t big on cars and other toys when I was in my late teens and early twenties. I read a few articles of Amy Dacyczyn’s The Tightwad Gazette and decided that being frugal was cool. Being frugal was the environmental thing to do to boot. Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robins’ Your Money or Your Life promoted similar ideas. Why should I go out and buy a new plastic gizmo when my current gizmo works just fine?

That was my environmental and political phase. I did lots of things that many people consider crazy. I do believe my father called me a bleeding heart when I went five years without a car. Going without a car in Boulder, Colorado isn’t a big deal. My dad cooperated with my crazy recycling bin scheme when he visited. My sisters just thought I was nuts.

I was happy. The simplified lifestyle was also my choice.

For a few years, the lifestyle was forced on me, and it sucked.

I went crazy; I bought a car and toys I didn’t need as soon as my period of forced simplicity ended. There was a short period during which I even spent more money than I had. Egads, it was like I was a different person, and the rebellion wasn’t hurting anyone but me.

I eventually found a middle ground with money, lifestyle, and spending habits. I slide up and down the spectrum though. Sometimes I buy silly things that I don’t need. Sometimes I make something things last longer than I should; however, overall, I think I’ve reached a middle ground.

I think I need to take some lessons from my children. They are really good at “Mommy, this is broken. Will you fix it for me?” There are a few stuffed toys that have more of my stitches in them than the original manufacturer’s.

The kids are also good at creating something out of “nothing.” For instance, Anna decided to make her brother a stuffed shark toy. She took one of her dad’s old (and holey) socks, stuffed it with stuffing from a dead, giant stuffed dog, sewed up the end with yarn and a yard needle, and drew gills and fins on the sock. That shark is now her brother’s favorite toy.

The kids are even starting to understand when to use gorilla glue instead of super glue.

How long can I make things last with a needle, thread, duct tape, and some gorilla glue?

Even so, I draw the line at darning socks.

Labels: frugal, gizmo, lifestyle, money, simple, simplicity, tightwad, toys

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Twenty years and counting

A piece of mail arrived for me the other day. That envelope barely made it into the “read” pile and almost ended up in the “junk” pile. As it turned out, it was an invitation to my 20-year, high school reunion.

Ugh.

I’ve been trying to figure out how I feel about this, and even if I want to go.

Let’s see:

Pros:

It might be entertaining.
I lost touch with one friend about five years ago when he changed jobs. There’s a slim chance he might go to the reunion. (Rodney, if you’re reading this, just send me your email address and spare me the grief.)
I didn’t go to my 10-year reunion.

Cons:

Plane fare
Hotel fare
The reunion would eat several days.
I didn’t go to my 10-year reunion.
My husband and I already have three plane-required trips scheduled for 2007.

I went through the on-line class list and a few names sparked my memory. I remember my high school boyfriend, of course. My best friend in high school graduated in a different year, so she’s not on the list. I recognized a few other names on the list, but none of the names made my brain scream “Wow, it would be cool to see that person again.” For several people, however, my brain did scream “Wow, it would be nice to get a letter from them.”

The reunion invitation/flyer indicated that even if I did not attend the reunion, I could buy a “bio book.” The bio book has people’s pictures, contact information, and a very small amount of text on each person.

Yep, I think the bio book is the answer. I can write letters to the people I’m curious about; after all, those people probably only vaguely remember by name.

Labels: high school reunion, Tammy Vass

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